I have not written in two weeks. The reason is that I am just amazed at the changes taken place in my life. Watching how I react and how my body and mental state react.
I have been working hard at the meditation, the reading and really liking reading the cards. I get such enjoyment out of watching acts of kindness, seeing peoples reactions and performing them myself. I am staying with friends that are getting ready to move to Italy and Luisa is on a different vibrational level then myself and others. She does body energy work, working with changing the thoughts of the sub-conscience. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is but it is short term, not repetitious and long lasting like MKMMA. She has pointed out to me the change she notices in me and admires my courage and consistency to adhere to my MKMMA schedule. But she feels that I am constricting myself in being adamant that I AM GOING TO DO THIS DAMN! Its more like an angry persistence in feeling that way, I am not allowing the flow of energy to come in and flow through me and allow myself the enjoyment of the flow of wonderful energy, I am blocking it and feel like I am struggling. As this was taking place prior to her recognizing this block, I was on line and accidentally (or maybe not) clicked to be friends with someone on Facebook that I miss so much but thankful they were in my life. In the past few years I have thanked the universe for the relationship, but this accidental click put me over the edge. I was in turmoil and upset all day. Feelings of being not being good enough, failure and so on overcame me like a hurricane. When I got home, I immediately went to relax breath and concentrated on moving that energy, coming to my center and getting back to my place of harmony. I realized that I had reached my Point of Terror, subby’s hold, pulling me back to old feelings of fear, unworthiness and failure trying to convince me to go back to comfort. NOT HAPPENING subby, I am calling the shots now girlfriend!!!
I am still aware of the Point of Terror in some instances and circumstances, but now that I know what it is and I know the feeling, give me time and I am not panicking, but addressing the issue and taking charge.
I am truly working on living from the world within, not living the way the world without wants me to, concentrating on the gratitude, accomplishments, 7 day mental diet and my glorious DMP and exiting future.
Gosh, can’t believe its week 17. MKMMA is such a wonderful journey and deep inside I do feel like a hero taking this journey. The commitment to the time, reading, watching webinars and the constant acts of repetition takes dedication. But at this period in my life coming up the pike to 61 years, I am committed to completing and crossing the finish line for once in my life. Today is not a good day, the budda seems to be really kicking and punching me. I am trying hard not to give in to Budda Monster but to substitute the thoughts and feelings with a positive ones. This is a challenge today, but I am doing it, I have my cards out in front of me. Now I have to tackle my stack of index cards, the accomplishments, the gratitudes and the mini journals.
Permission: Giving myself permission seems to be last on the list. It should be first. I don’t think the Budda Monster knows how to raise his hand for permission. But the task at hand is WHO CARES about Budda Monster, he needs to move out of the neighborhood…NOW! I need to believe in myself that permission exists. So therefore for yesterday and today that are difficult times, I am giving myself permission to grieve over my issues, but in the same thought thank the universe for the journey and experience that I had and wipe the tears. Geeze I haven’t cried in a very long time. Today the fountain of tears they are a flowing.
This was a wonderful time for me. The kindness week. It was enjoyable to do acts of kindness and not being noticed, it was fun when people did notice. It was hard when people said what did you do that for, people around here don’t appreciate it. But in my broken down cement budda eyes, I got you to notice didn’t I? One person at a time, that is my wish. Chipping away one kindness at a time. I think that is persistence too isn’t it?
The best part was sharing and reading all acts in the alliance page. So many varied acts of kindness. Everyone seemed so into it. That was the very best part this week. I am not going to stop doing it. I do acts of kindness on a regular basis, but this was different. It wasn’t the recognition, but it was the togetherness of mastermind that made me feel included.
I put the phrase I am rare… on top of Scroll 5 for next month. I did this because I have to believe I am valuable. Our daily mantra; I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. This mantra assists me in my beliefs. As Mark says in the video, belief and his story about the men on the boat floating for days without water, “throw down the bucket”… believe in yourself. That story really hit home for me. I have never valued myself, nor did I think others valued me either. NOT ANYMORE!!!
I not only value myself, but I am valuing myself and my time more through these exercises. Each one as I go through them 2-3x a day, day after day, they add so much value to my life. If I skip a sequence, its almost like I forgot to brush my teeth before I went to bed. (Not a good habit to get into).
Valuing yourself is like loving yourself. You need to like/love yourself before you can truly love someone else. As we go through the week doing kind and fun deeds for others. Think about the people that you are doing these for, we value and appreciate and maybe even love them. The thread is weaving and weaving all of us together. I love the value in kind deeds, its the velocity in thought.
Last night I watched Mark’s short video introduction for week 14. I thought it was explosive. He really hit home with a lot points for me. Constantly saying to myself I am whole, perfect… is so calming for me. This mantra really helped me through the holidays to not become a part of the “lets talk about so and so”. I actually had someone hang up the phone on me because I had NO COMMENT! Imagine that!!! I love not going there and I especially thankful that I can make that choice, it feels so good.
I have been noticing a lot of synchronicities even more then before. And I thought I was an aware person. Wow! Mark also mentions in week 15 about noticing things coming to you.
In my Real Estate, it has been a steady flow of prospects, even in January. So grateful for clients, especially good unconditional referrals. The happier I help them to be, the more they will refer business to me. Give more get more! I have to BELIEVE in myself that these things are already there for me and I deserve them.
Two things I want to mention, I really enjoy the 25+ cards, gosh I did a lot and when I read them, more events come to mind, so I write more notations. Now I know how George Bailey in It’s A Wonderful Life felt when his guardian angel Clarence said to him “George you really did have a wonderful life”.
And I listened to the Strangest Secret last night while I made more cards and put shapes on them. I love the 40 hours statistic about how many people work, die, still work, become successful and still struggle. In my network marketing business an associate made a short 4 minute video about “The 40 year plan in 2-3 years”. It really makes people’s head spin and makes them think. Unfortunately they take no action for themselves. Choice. I choose to learn and grow more with MKMMA and meet new acquaintances thru MKMMA. Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. So Grateful! Thank you Lord!
I was behind and yesterday and today re-watched Week 11 and watched Week 12 and 13. I am glad I have off tomorrow so that I can stay up longer and Blog on my post and read others blogs. I find that even this little event of time to do want I want to do and am required to do is one of many rewards coming into my presence. I love noticing all the little things. Other little things… there have been so many each and every day. My daily gratitude list is fun and helps me to remember the gifts from the Universe. I have been looking for a place to live, found one, the status changed and someone rented it and two days later it came back on the market. Yeah! Its small, but the price is right and it will do. Lots of showing appointments on my real estate listings even during the holidays. Those are folks really looking for a place to live. A little surprise extra bonus money for Christmas from my work. Nice!
Master Key – Part Thirteen The Dreams of the Dream are coming True.
Yeah! It has been a long time coming. My visualization aka dreams are coming true one step at a time.
My 7 Day Mental Diet is really fore front in my mind in every conversation. It is very noticeable now. I can really keep my mouth shut and while doing so, I am focusing on: I am Whole Perfect Strong Powerful Loving Harmonious and Happy! Saying this feels so much better then having an opinion or comment about something or someone.
Happy Wonderful and Blessed New Year full of Light and Hope.
I have had so many changes happening in my live since taking this course. I love sharing my experiences with certain people. Its amazing how many people don’t get it. But as scroll II says, just look them in the eye, but inside tell them how much ya love them. That’s the fun part for me.
All around me subtle changes abound and my feeling of total relaxation and giving up the stress and worry is relaxing me. The only thing that really stress is me is the feeling of getting behind in my mkmma daily work. But a fellow student reminded me to be thankful for the accomplishments that I have done. Praising myself and giving myself kudos is not something that comes easily to me. I am quick to give praise to others but it is hard for me to receive and give to myself. This course and my guide Caryn are helping me to find my way. I really enjoy reading other people’s blogs, so creative and expressive, just doing that is helping me with my social media hangup. It really is fun. All you guys are great and you give me the feeling of not being alone. Big difference between being alone and lonely. I am not lonely, nor am I alone.
Thank you all for your encouragement and help as I climb this mountain, the picks on my ice shoes may not be sharp, but I am clinging on and still moving forward daring to achieve and accomplish this course.